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Followed much coverage of E3 this week? Yeah, me either. What I have seen has been less-than-stellar, and in some cases, downright boring (looking at you Nintendo…and Sony…and Microsoft). I can’t remember a year when I was less disappointed about video games in the near-term. The video game industry has ceased to be about video games and instead has become a pusher of gimmicky technology that appeases shareholders. And that sucks, because there could have been so much more good news to come through LA this June 2012. Imagine how glorious it could have been… <<drifting into dreamlike haze>>

New Console Announced:

Nintendo Phoenix (Codename: The Apology)

Nintendo...Rise from your grave!

Nintendo decides the Wii U is stupid and does away with it entirely. Instead, they decide to focus on what always made them great, their games. They decided that Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Star Fox, F-Zero, Donkey Kong, Kirby and Mario Kart were the strength of their company and realized these games should be made to a point where they maximized the available technology on the market. To that end, the Phoenix is built as a TRUE next-gen console, far surpassing the technical abilities of the Xbox360 and the PS3.

The Phoenix features the ability to use four wireless controllers in the traditional sense. Motion-based technology is thrown out as a main gameplay function as Nintendo decides instead to go the Kinect route and make motion gaming an accessory. Motion control will not be thrust down the throat of the consumer but rather provided as an option for those who truly enjoy its function.

At launch, the Phoenix will boast new Mario, Legend of Zelda,  Star Fox, and Metroid games along with strong third party support. To go along with this launch, Nintendo announces the formation of a true online platform called Warp Zone, allowing co-op and multiplayer gaming (without friend codes) as well as the ability to download full games and DLC. Nintendo also announces their answer to Achievements and Trophies in their Accolades program which allows game players to earn points that they can use to spend on various online content like avatars or themes.

Microsoft Announces Make Games That Don’t Require Kinect:

Halo 4

The lone highlight of the actual E3 2012, seemingly plucked straight from this dreamer’s delta waves. Two parts Halo, one part Metroid Prime…there really is no more I can say about my excitement for this.

Gears of War, Locust-Focused

Gears: Judgement sounds interesting in the way it incorporates the game’s action into flashbacks in sort of a How-I-Met-Your-Mother sort of way, but I am more interested in actually playing Gears form the Locusts’ perspective. Playing as a Locust fighting the army of COGs is a device that has been left alone so far (at least in terms of campaign).

Free-to-play MMOs and MMFPSs

Online massively-multipliers are trending towards free-to-play, and with XBLA already a sophisticated online community, integrating these titles makes sense. Use micro-transactions out the ass, I don’t care. If the game is good enough to play beyond a free-only cap level then I will buy it. A move like this opens up the PC gaming experience to traditional console players, like moi.

New IPOs

C’mon, Microsoft, let’s see some new shit. And make it good.

Sony Stays Home:

No Thanks, Sony

I guess I’ve hit full hater status with Sony; they do absolutely nothing for me anymore. This might have to do with the fact that my PS3 bit the dust about 6 weeks ago, but even before that it served as only a Netflix and Hulu Plus box with very sporadic video gaming. Sony will be pushing Vita but no one will care. They will prop up Move but no one will care. They will announce more cutesy games a la Nintendo but no one will care. Time to start over, Sony. Start working on the next Playstation, only don’t price yourself out of the market this time. Just make a good system with good games, K?

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